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Late Night Laughs with Ray Bettelman was an American late-night talk show hosted by Ray Bettelman. Pat Singer was a common guest on the program.

On one episode of Late Night Laughs soon after President-elect David Palmer announced his divorce from his wife Sherry, Bettelman read off his five humorous "Best Picks" for women that Palmer could start dating in Sherry's absence:

  • Britney Spears, because "she's sure to liven up those dull fund-raisers with her leather outfits and c-r-a-z-y snake dance"
  • Senator Hillary Clinton, "because we hear she has a lot of the White House furniture"
  • Oprah Winfrey, so that "the next time [Palmer] wants to give a confessional speech about his family scandals, he can do it on her show"
  • Martha Stewart, because "after she redecorates the White House, she can give Palmer pointers on defying Congress"
  • Kim Cattrall, because "if Palmer doesn't have to heat the executive bedroom anymore, we may get a tax break!"

Over the audience's applause, Bettelman announced the line-up of guests for the night, including actor Kiefer Sutherland, the rock band Turgid, and the Animal Channel's Craig Weedie.

A transcript of the segment was included in Marc Cerasini's report on the House Special Subcommittee's investigation. (Findings at CTU)

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