This is a list of memorable quotes from Ira Gaines.
- Ira Gaines: Talk to her. Explain what I do. ("Day 1: 2:00am-3:00am")
- Ira Gaines: Be good and you'll be back at the mall in a day or two. Be bad, you won't. ("Day 1: 3:00am-4:00am")
- Dan Mounts: We'd like our money now. If that's like, you know, okay.
- Ira Gaines: Well, just so we're like, you know, clear, what happened to the other girl?
- Dan Mounts: Janet? Like I told you, we had to kill her.
- Ira Gaines: 'Cause my people tell me that someone that fits her description was taken to a hospital near to where you were. How do you explain that?
- (Pause)
- Dan Mounts: Well, the thing is that...maybe she wasn't quite dead.
- Ira Gaines: Well, I'll tell ya, Dan. You're either dead or you're not dead. There's no such thing as "sorta dead". Here, let me show you. (pulls out gun and shoots Dan)
- Rick Allen: NO!
- Ira Gaines: (to a very shocked Rick) You've just been promoted. Congratulations. ("Day 1: 4:00am-5:00am")
- Ira Gaines: See what happens when you lie? Don't ever lie to me, Rick.
- Rick Allen: I won't.
- Ira Gaines: Oh, I know you won't. Now bury your friend.
- Rick Allen: Where?
- Ira Gaines: (irritated) In the ground. ("Day 1: 5:00am-6:00am")
- Ira Gaines: Leave the shovel unless you plan to use it on me. ("Day 1: 5:00am-6:00am")
- Ira Gaines: Now say something.
- Jack Bauer: If you hurt my daughter, I will kill you.
- Ira Gaines: Good. That's a nice, clear signal. ("Day 1: 5:00am-6:00am")
- Jack Bauer: If Alan York is dead, who is the man with my wife?
- Ira Gaines: He's not an accountant from the valley, that's for sure.
- Jack Bauer: If you hurt my wife or my daughter, I will kill you, you son of a bitch!
- (sound of gunshot)
- Jack Bauer: AHH! My God, what have you done? What have you done?!
- Ira Gaines: Everything's fine, Jack. But that will be the last sound your wife and daughter hear unless you get a hold of yourself and do as you're told.
- Jack Bauer: I'll do what you want.
- Ira Gaines: That's the spirit. ("Day 1: 6:00am-7:00am")
- Rick Allen: Dan's buried.
- Ira Gaines: Oh, that's good.
- Rick Allen: You said you would pay me when we got back here.
- Ira Gaines: I know what I said.
- Rick Allen: Well, if it's a problem...pay me whenever.
- Ira Gaines: Oh, that's very kind of you, Rick. ("Day 1: 6:00am-7:00am")
- Ira Gaines: Drop the pen and shred the paper.
- (Jack Bauer realizes that Gaines can see inside CTU via security cameras)
- Ira Gaines: That's right, Jack! I'm watching you! Shred the note now or your daughter dies! ("Day 1: 6:00am-7:00am")
- Ira Gaines: Nina Myers is dead. Make up a story for why she's not there. ("Day 1: 7:00am-8:00am")
- Ira Gaines: BAUER, DID YOU SCREW ME?! ("Day 1: 7:00am-8:00am")
- Kevin Carroll: I thought I could handle him. I thought—
- Ira Gaines: Stop thinking! ("Day 1: 12:00pm-1:00pm")
- Kevin Carroll: (upon seeing Neill's dead body) There's no radio.
- Ira Gaines: Bauer's been listening... to every damn word! ("Day 1: 12:00pm-1:00pm")
- Jack Bauer: (on walkie-talkie) You're losing blood.
- Ira Gaines: (on walkie-talkie) Not enough to stop me from killing you.
- Jack Bauer: Maybe neither of us has to die.
- Ira Gaines: Like I said, Jack, I don't have a choice.
- Jack Bauer: Maybe at least you could tell me what's going on. Cofell, he mentioned something about Belgrade. That was a military operation, how is Palmer connected to that?
- Ira Gaines: You were there, Jack. You should know.
- Jack Bauer: Let's say I don't.
- Ira Gaines: Neither do I. The less I know, the better I can do my job. That's just the nature of our business.
- Jack Bauer: Then why did you bring my family into this?
- Ira Gaines: That might've been a mistake. They wanted to make it personal.
- Jack Bauer: (behind Gaines) Who's "they"? (Gaines drops his walkie-talkie) Put down the weapon, Mr. Gaines. We can protect you.
- Ira Gaines: No, you can't... (He gets up.)
- Jack Bauer: Put down the weapon!
- Ira Gaines: (last words) Good luck. (Turns around, gun in hand; Jack shoots him dead.) ("Day 1: 12:00pm-1:00pm")